Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
