i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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