Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
