We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
