can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
