somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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