yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We need to get me chipped asap
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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