Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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