you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
