so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
