I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
