okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
