scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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