So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
