Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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