I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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