She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
