If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
do herpes really smell.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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