Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
