I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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