his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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