You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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