we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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