My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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