Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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