She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
