so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
