On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
