also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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