Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize