Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
