Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
