Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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