Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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