i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Pappa wants mamma naked
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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