some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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