He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
