Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
