**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
