Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
