If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
