So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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