first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
