It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
