I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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