I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
