I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
