now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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