can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
