She said her name was "party"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
